bigger than food

my dear friend's mom passed away on monday and it has left me a little speechless. on the one hand, at times like this, food is the only thing that makes sense. when my dad died, our home was filled to the rim with rugelach, bagels, and roast chickens. making and buying food gave our friends a way to feel useful, and eating it gave us three events around which to structure our miserable days. i went to ess-a-bagel at lunchtime and grabbed a bagful for my friend's family, because what the hell else do i know how to do?

on the other hand, who gives a shit about recipes? i never thinkof food as only sustenance, or i wouldn't go to such lengths to prepare a meal. or wait on lines for brunch. or take the 7 train out to who-knows-where for a taco. but in the face of death, food can feel small, and the thought of fancifying/glorifying it feels trite and silly.

so, in a few days i'll tell you all about the quick coconut curry i learned how to make. until then...